


Please Love Me

by marchtwentyfour



Category: GOT7
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 06:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20756075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marchtwentyfour/pseuds/marchtwentyfour
Summary: Jinyoung has always loved Jaebum and, honestly, he just wished Jaebum loved him back.





	Please Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a very random plot point and wrote in a frenzy for 3 hours. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense!
> 
> Credits to @breakingmyrulesagain for beta’ing this mess.
> 
> Happy late birthday, J!

Jinyoung wakes up to a kiss on top of his head, a feather-like touch that feels so sweet. “Happy birthday, love.” Jaebum’s voice is the first thing he hears, still a little bit raspy from having just woken up himself too.

Smiling, Jinyoung grumbles, “Thanks, hyung. Sleep more?”

Jaebum laughs and, instead of letting the birthday boy sleep in, presses a bruising kiss to his mouth. In the early days when they only recently started dating, Jinyoung used to shy away from these kisses because he was afraid of morning breath, but now he’s found that Jaebum doesn’t really care. So Jinyoung does what he does best and returns the kiss, pressing himself even further into Jaebum’s embrace.

September 22nd starts off with burning kisses and knee-weakening orgasms. If anyone asked Jinyoung, his answer would be that it was a brilliant start to the day.

It wasn’t always like this before.

*

Jaebum was a year ahead of Jinyoung from middle to high school. Jaebum has always been  _ sunbae  _ and then  _ hyung _ . To Jinyoung, however, Jaebum has always been a crush.

When people said Jaebum was popular, they were not exaggerating. Jaebum was a part of his school’s dance group, thus, well-known across the whole student population. Not only is he talented at what he does, he was always so nice  _ and  _ pleasant.

“Hey, Jaebum! Someone’s looking for you.” It was a normal occurrence for Jaebum to called from his classroom, from the dance club’s practice room, or even from the cafeteria.

It was always someone looking to confess to Jaebum and ask them out on a date.

Jaebum’s answer always differed, but he was always so nice about it that no one ever dared to badmouth him.

Accepted?  _ Congratulations. _

Rejected?  _ I’m sorry. But wasn’t Jaebum oppa so sweet? _

Jinyoung has always had a front row seat to these events and was either heartbroken or sympathetic. It burns his heart whenever he hears the result, no matter which it was. Because the truth is that Jinyoung wishes he had the guts to even say a word about it.

“Why won’t you just confess to him? I’ve seen other people do it get rejected and Jaebum sunbae never ever gives them shit for it.” Jackson, perhaps Jinyoung’s closest friend and confidant, suggests every single time. “You know you’ll regret it if you don’t say anything.”

Shaking his head, Jinyoung would always have the same answer, “I would rather not know the answer. Being his friend should be enough.”

“But is it?” Jackson wonders out loud.

Jinyoung never has a response for it.

But for now, it should be enough. Jinyoung watched Jaebum date people, break up with them, win competitions, lose very rarely, laugh until he rolls on the floor, tear up like no tomorrow, and graduate. For this, Jinyoung has no regrets because… well.

“Jinyoung! I would never forgive you if you don’t get into the same University! You promised me you’ll room with me!” Jaebum would always remind him whenever Jinyoung ever  _ mentions  _ about getting into a different school.

Jinyoung would roll his eyes and elbow him, “Hyung, I don’t even know what Major I want to do yet.”

“Yeah, but you can do that in the same University as me. Right?” Jaebum would elbow him back, grinning ear to ear.

Jinyoung’s heart aches because he knows that if Jaebum ever  _ knew  _ that Jinyoung loved him (and he does, he does, so much) then there was no way they would be having this very same conversation.

When Jaebum graduated, Jinyoung had cried and Jaebum had hugged him tight.

“Don’t you ever forget me, Jinyoung.” Jaebum had mumbled in a rare show of weakness.

Jinyoung could only cough out a laugh in between sobs, “That should be my line, hyung.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Nyoung. I could never!”

At that moment, Jinyoung chanted feverishly in his mind,  _ please love me, hyung. Please love me. _

  
  


Of course, Jinyoung could never have denied himself of hurting his own self more. He had applied to the same University and gotten in. He knew, in the long run, that this would hurt more, but he knew he would rather be in Jaebum’s life than be spared of the pain.

“You are mental.” Jackson had told him, but added, “I hope this is what you wanted, J.”

Jinyoung clutched at his shirt, “It is. Of course it is, J.”

Just as promised, Jaebum had found them a two bedroom apartment to rent together. Jaebum had stayed in the dorms his first year, but quickly tired of living with others.

“Are you sure, hyung? You’ll be tired of me soon, too.” Jinyoung had teased him, laughing (and his heart aching) as he clutched on the pen in front of the signature line of their tenant lease.

“You’re kidding, right? I could never, Nyoung!” Jaebum nudged his hand, “You’re family, Nyoung. The best little brother I could ever ask for.”

_ Please love me. _

Jinyoung smiles (while his heart breaks into tiny little pieces) and signs.

  
  


University was almost like middle school and high school except for the fact that Jinyoung knew exactly when Jaebum had someone over. They had separate rooms, but the walls weren’t exactly soundproof.

If Jinyoung thought that hearing confessions were already painful, he was not prepared to hear how Jaebum sounded in the throes of passion. There was no comparison to the pain that he almost wondered if this was worth it, if he was strong enough to do this.

Because Jinyoung loved Jaebum so much, even before he knew what the word had entailed.

But Jinyoung had stayed because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he left.

“Good morning.” Jinyoung was used to waking up and seeing girls in the kitchen. Sometimes they’re girlfriends, other times they were just flings. They have, however, always been very very pretty.

“Good morning, Jinyoung.” The girl, someone from one of his class that he cannot name right now, gave him a smile as she waited for the coffee to brew. “I’m making enough for three. Jaebum oppa is still asleep.”

“Thank you. I’m going to make breakfast. Do you want some?” Jinyoung offers because he knows that’s the right thing to do.

“Yes, thank you.” She answered and at the same time asked, “Why do you hurt yourself, Jinyoung?”

Freezing, Jinyoung’s head goes into overdrive as he tries to make sense of what she had said and what he was supposed to say or do.

“Sorry?” Jinyoung had managed to croak out, probably too late for it to come out as normal. He turns to look at her and sees that she had a small smile, gentle and uncruel.

“I’ve only been here a night and I can see it clear as day. I always though Jaebum oppa was smart, but I guess he could be blind, too?” She takes a mug from the rack and the movement surprised Jinyoung so much that he flinched. “I’m not saying this to be cruel because I know Jaebum oppa and I are just a one night stand, but Jinyoung… you don’t deserve this.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jinyoung flinched when the mug was placed towards him, coffee filled to the brim.

She gives him a sad smile, “I hope you find someone who will love you just as much as you do him, if not more.”

There was no need for Jinyoung to drink coffee because those words had jolted him awake.

*

“Is work busy today, love?” Jaebum sets down a cup of coffee and a bowl seaweed soup in front of Jinyoung. He sits down across from him, still wearing the apron.

“Just the usual, probably. Why, hyung?” Jinyoung takes a sip of the seaweed soup and smiles in response. “Wow! This is so good, hyung! Your soup from last year was already good, but I think this tops it!”

That startles a laugh out of Jaebum and Jinyoung felt knees knocking his own from under the table. “I’m glad. You deserve all the very best of everything, after all.”

As if they haven’t already spent a frenzied hour or so in bed that morning, Jinyoung feels himself reach out and press a kiss to Jaebum’s lips.

“Thanks, Jaebum hyung.”

It wasn’t always like this before.

*

Falling in love with someone was a lot easier than getting over someone, Jinyoung learned.

When Jinyoung first realized he had loved Jaebum, he hadn’t even known when it had started. All he knew was that he did, he had fallen in love and he had no way of saying when it had happened. But it had come to him in a flash, in that single moment in time he just knew.

When Jinyoung started trying to stop loving Jaebum, he didn’t know how to even start. All he knew was that he had to do so, he had to stop loving the man and he had no way of even knowing where to begin doing just that. But he had to try and in that moment, he knew he could never stop loving Jaebum if doesn’t even try.

It was possibly the single most difficult thing in Jinyoung’s life.

Jinyoung knew if he doesn’t stop loving Jaebum then he would never be able to love someone else. He would never be able to feel loved the way he wants to be and that stung more than he thought it would’ve.

The idea of it was much, much (a lot, a lot) easier than the actual actions.

Stop thinking about him? Hard to do so when you live with them.

Start looking at other people? Hard to do so when you end up comparing everyone to them.

Avoid contact with them? Hard to do so when…

It was not going to be easy, that was all Jinyoung could say. Jackson had tried setting him up with various other people and all of them were great, nice people, but none of them were…  _ Jaebum. _

At some point, Jinyoung had wondered (to himself because he knows Jackson would not appreciate hearing this) if he just needed to resign himself to loving Jaebum. To being hurt. To feeling pain. To never being loved.

And then, That Night happened.

It had started off quite normal with Jaebum going out with friends to drink and Jinyoung staying at their apartment so he could finish his reading. The hours went on until Jinyoung felt his back ache and he stretched out to look at the clock. It was 11:24 pm.

That Night went like this:

  * The door banged open.
  * Jaebum walked in drunk, surprisingly upright for all the swaying he was doing.
  * Jinyoung ran over to help Jaebum stay on his feet.
  * Jaebum cried as he hugged Jinyoung, his head tucked under Jinyoung’s neck.
  * In only way a drunk could slur, Jaebum slurs, “Love you, Nyoung… Don’t know why you don’t love me back…”
  * Jinyoung freezing up, fingers clutching tightly at Jaebum.
  * Jaebum taking his silence as something (still unknown till today what Jaebum was thinking) and tried proving himself by facing up to press a slobbery kiss onto Jinyoung’s mouth.
  * Jaebum pulling himself away to say, “Sorry, sorry. You can give me your answer tomorrow.”
  * Jaebum goes to his room to fall face first on his bed and sleep.
  * Jinyoung does _not _sleep at all.

That Night’s sequel was The Morning After which consists only of:

  * Jaebum asking Jinyoung what his answer was to his drunken confession.
  * Jinyoung asking Jaebum if it was true, if all of it was true.
  * “Yes.”
  * Jinyoung, with all of years of repressed feelings, breaks down in tears as he told Jaebum exactly what his answer was.

Jinyoung had known after, once the two of them had finally moved from the awkwardness of transitioning from friends only to maybe more, that Jaebum had only recently in the past year or so started having feelings for Jinyoung. He was never going to tell Jaebum about when  _ his  _ own feelings started because he felt so small and he didn’t want to push, but then Jackson came.

Jackson had visit them one day, took a look at them and at their apartment before blurting, “Fucking finally. Only took you 8 years, Jaebum sunbae.”

*

Jinyoung got ready to leave for work while Jaebum lounged around on the couch. Jaebum starts work later so he gets an hour or so before he has to leave for work. It always leaves Jinyoung jealous because he doesn’t have to be in the morning rush, but today he lets it go. This morning was possibly the best he could ever ask for. 

His birthday has only started and it was already much more than he had asked for.

“See you later, hyung. We’re having dinner with everyone, don’t forget!” Jinyoung remarked while he put on his shoes. He stood up and was startled when he felt arms wrap around him from behind. He didn’t even realize the other had stood much less than walk over to him. “Hyung?”

“Thank you for being born, love.” Jaebum whispered, voice low and his mouth almost mushed on Jinyoung’s neck.

Jinyoung laughs and turns his head to kiss the top of Jaebum’s head. “I’ll have to tell mom that when she calls later.”

Jaebum hummed in agreement, “I love you, love. Don’t forget.”

All Jinyoung could do is smile and he soaks on it before answering, “How could I when you always remind me?”

It wasn’t always like this before.

But.

This will always be them from now. 


End file.
